Abide With Me, 'tis Eventide

Today has been one of those days. Well, Monday and Tuesday this week could be classified as "one of those days".

The long days.

The tiring days.

The days where no matter what you do, or no matter how many people you help, you still feel as if you have accomplished absolutely NOTHING. And it isn't that you feel like you have been idle, it's that empty feeling...the feeling that makes you cry yourself to sleep. I guess it is a lonely emptiness.

These are the days that "try men's souls" as Thomas Paine would have put it.

And I definitely feel that my soul is being tried.

So I climbed into bed tonight and returned to doing the basic things that President Uchtdorf asked us to do in General Conference....prayers, reading my scriptures and writing in my journal.

As I started to write I turned my iTunes on...and listened to my Sunday playlist of hymns. And the first one to come on describes exactly how I am feeling tonight.

Abide with me; 'tis eventide.

Abide with me; 'tis eventide,
The day is past and gone;
The shadows of the evening fall;
The night is coming on.
Within my heart a welcome guest,
Within my home abide.
O Savior, stay this night with me;
Behold, 'tis eventide.
O Savior, stay this night with me;
Behold, 'tis eventide.

Abide with me; 'tis eventide,
And lone will be the night
If I cannot commune with thee,
Nor find in thee my light.
The darkness of the world, I fear,
Would in my home abide.
O Savior, stay this night with me;
Behold, 'tis eventide.
O Savior, stay this night with me;
Behold, 'tis eventide.

Abide with me; 'tis eventide,
Thy walk today with me
Has made my heart within me burn,
As I communed with thee.
Thy earnest words have filled my soul
And kept me near thy side.
O Savior, stay this night with me;
Behold, 'tis eventide.
O Savior, stay this night with me;
Behold, 'tis eventide.

How can I ever live without Him walking by my side? Why have I ever tried? I have refused to take the burdens from my shoulders and place them on His. And I'm not entirely sure why. I suppose my independent nature has escaped my control-to the point where I am unable to see how important it is for me to release these burdens!

I cannot carry them alone.

The night is too dark to refuse any longer.

Only He....only He can carry them for me.