Afraid....
of what?
What do I have to fear? A lot of things actually. Being alone, spiders, bugs, the dark, being alone, scary people with weapons...or not so scary people that still have weapons...getting mugged, being alone (did I say that I'm afraid of being alone?). I hate being alone.
But I think that there is something even worse than being afraid of being alone, or spiders..
And that is being afraid to trust.
I never thought that I was afraid to trust till just recently. Let's just say I've been doing some reflecting. And it isn't that I'm afraid to trust people-I trust people completely until they prove that they aren't trustworthy. But there is one thing that I am afraid to trust people with:
My heart.
But I think that there is something even worse than being afraid of being alone, or spiders..
And that is being afraid to trust.
I never thought that I was afraid to trust till just recently. Let's just say I've been doing some reflecting. And it isn't that I'm afraid to trust people-I trust people completely until they prove that they aren't trustworthy. But there is one thing that I am afraid to trust people with:
My heart.
I suppose it is my greatest treasure, my favorite color of crayon...
My inmost self.
It is the thing that is the easiest and the hardest thing to give people. What if they take it and trample it (or, taking the crayon analogy, melt it??)? Or what if it was handled gently and kindly? Would it be worth the risk of giving it, not knowing what would happen?
Trampled hearts hurt. A lot. I know because I've had that happen to me a few times(who hasn't?). And the next time someone comes along, and you think about opening up and giving your heart, you are just a little reluctant to give it.
My inmost self.
It is the thing that is the easiest and the hardest thing to give people. What if they take it and trample it (or, taking the crayon analogy, melt it??)? Or what if it was handled gently and kindly? Would it be worth the risk of giving it, not knowing what would happen?
Trampled hearts hurt. A lot. I know because I've had that happen to me a few times(who hasn't?). And the next time someone comes along, and you think about opening up and giving your heart, you are just a little reluctant to give it.
I've been thinking about that a lot lately. And then I read a blog post today that made me think:
"Love. Let yourself love. You will never regret opening your heart when you realize it opens your life to the best this world has to give."-M'kynzi
I so needed to hear that today.
And here's a quote from Mark Twain:
Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.
Or in the words of Natasha Bedingfield:
Release your inhibition
Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let in
Drench your life with words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins
The rest is still unwritten
I suppose it's time to remember that....living life with arms wide open, throwing off the bowlines and opening my heart.
At least I won't regret holding back.
Release your inhibition
Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let in
Drench your life with words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins
The rest is still unwritten
I suppose it's time to remember that....living life with arms wide open, throwing off the bowlines and opening my heart.
At least I won't regret holding back.
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