Friday, September 12, 2008

From bad to worse to so much better

I've been so stressed this week that I really haven't had much time to take care of myself or even think about what I need....Various outside sources have been pulling from me, to the point where my inner resevoir is almost completely empty. I should know better and I shouldn't let things get to me so much, but I do.

I had a really rough night, between math, a friend, and my family. Then I woke up this morning and things just seemed to get worse. I finally got to school and I couldn't understand anything that my math professor was saying....I took a math quiz online and scored a 70%. Then I went to my next class and the Human Development teacher had to go on and on about Sigmund Freud's theories....needless to say it was not exactly what I wanted to be lectured on for an hour. Then, came my Ethics and Values class. Which was probably the worst way EVER to end my school day with. Abortion, cannabalism, you name it. I could not run fast enough to get out of there!

Finally, lunch came and I met up with a friend of mine, Jazon. He and I were counselors at EFY together over the summer. We just sat in the school courtyard enjoying the cool mist from a waterfall and talked about the Gospel. And within a matter of minutes, my day went from bad to worse to so much better. It's amazing how different you feel when you finally get your focus back to the things that are important.

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I want to publically apologize to those who are closest to me, who have seen me behave at my worst, who have forgiven me for all my mistakes and who have put up with me. To them I owe so much, yet give so little. Life is too short to quarrel though! Can you forgive me? I have not behaved the best nor have I chosen to be respectful when I should have. I am not going to excuse myself, because what I did was not right. But you do need to understand that things are a little different now. I am different from the person that you knew before. More independent, more able to handle a larger load. Sometimes I bend under that load. I am sorry that I have not been strong enough to do it on my own yet. I'm going to try though so that this doesn't happen again.

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